Let’s be honest—it doesn’t matter whether it’s been 6 weeks or 20 years. Prison changes your mindset and deeply impacts mental health, and while we’re guessing if you survived unscathed, well, then you wouldn’t be reading this, you are! The good and bad news is that the world outside has changed, but then so have you. You need a mindset shift because, well, everything starts with a mindset—but don’t worry—we’ve got you covered.
Like all good things this starts with a story, but bear with me cause it gets good!
Now this story comes straight out of Belinda’s personal history. We need to take you back to July 2020 Belinda had been in Norwich, running her magazine from a bed and breakfast room after her boyfriend had dumped her and left her isolated, alone, in a city she didn’t know. The pandemic had taken its toll on the magazine’s income so Belinda’s income and scared of being homeless (although she technically was,) found out Norwich would not help her and instead turned to Swansea for help they gave her a flat in the district on the outskirts on town.
As she arrived to get the keys she recalled just how alien and cold everything felt, the city had changed even though she’d barely been away 3 years, and there were no friends or family to turn to just her and two medium-sized pink suitcases full of clothes and work things.
With £60.00 to her name, she got the keys, as she stepped into the flat which was on the second floor, she realized she was one of the lucky ones, there was some flooring, and the council had provided basic furniture though no bedding, curtains and there would be no gas and electric for the first few days.
She brought a blanket and some food from a local shop and was briefly comforted when her neighbor from downstairs popped by to say hello, then there was silence, deafening silence, She grabbed the blanket crawled into the bed, and sobbed.
It was the following morning when she realized she was tougher than this, and began to embody some of that resilience that she’s so well known for. She just had to make a plan and figure it out.
While stumbling to the bathroom to get ready for her second day she hit a light switch, and realized there was electricity, so followed that up by charging her phone. She still wanted the earth to swallow her up, the loneliness, and the silence still haunted her but her mindset had changed. She stared out the window, at the boys with their bikes opposite, and she knew she had to make it work, and she needed to make a plan.
We share this story because it’s often mindset or perspective that makes all the difference, once you accept the brutal reality, you can move forward, so now we’re gonna talk about making the plan. It sounds crazy to say but you need to start at the end! Right now you have a blank slate you don’t know this world and it doesn’t know you – so what is the life you want to live, what does it look like, feel like, and who’s in it? We want to share with you some tools that we love for adjusting our mindset next.
The Rocking Chair Test
Now we like to alter this test slightly the general concept is you find a quiet space close your eyes and imagine you’re old very old and in a rocking chair thinking about the things you regret not doing, this helps you identify the things that are important to you. We like to take it one step further and say think about these categories in your life: Career, Finance, Personal Growth, Pleasure, Relationships, Physical/mental health, and environment. What are the things that if you didn’t achieve you would regret on your deathbed? They don’t have to be serious for example one of Belinda’s is to spend Christmas in Austin, Texas.
The 7-Step Why Rule
Belinda learned about this from hearing Dean Graziosi speak once, here’s the concept you take each goal one at a time and ask yourself as if you’re being interviewed why do want that, then take each answer and ask why 7 times for example:
“I want to help bikers”
“Why do want to help bikers”
“Because they give so much to me, I want to give back,”
“Why do you want that – what does it mean to you?
“It gives me a sense of purpose and belonging”
“And why is that important?”
“I want my life to have meaning and impact in the world,”
“Why is meaning and impact important to you?”
“I value impact over income, and need to feel like my life was worthwhile,”
“Why is this the only way for your life to mean that?
“It isn’t but is the way I feel most passionate about,”
“Why are you passionate about it?”
“I’ve always been passionate about helping others and I feel bikers are hugely undervalued in society,”
“Why is that a concern to you,”
“Because I love the biker community and the stigma and stereotypes are wrong, and I want to world to recognize their and my contribution,”
This helps you identify your reason for what you want it’s your why and it’s gonna help to keep you anchored and committed to your goal, We’re just gonna be honest you’re a biker and you survived prison so we know you’re resilient, and have faith in you you can have what you want what we’re doing here is helping you figure out the what, why, and how.
Your Future Story
Look we’re not here to tell you to be positive and it’ll come to you – but how are you gonna get what you want if you don’t know what it is?
Write Your future story, I want you to write it with your senses not just the boring stuff – feel it, describe it like you can almost taste and touch it, and consider this a working document – our Biker Life Workbook can help you with this. Describe the life you want to be living.
To show you how it’s done here’s a example:
“Man, I can’t even tell you how good life feels these days. You know, there were nights in that cell when all I could do was dream about something like this. And now… it’s real. In the garage sits, my pride and joy—a custom Triumph Bonneville T120 I’d spent months perfecting. My workshop, my business. ‘Iron Brotherhood Customs,’ we call it. I’ve got guys who bring me their bikes from all over the country. I restore them, customize them, and make them one of a kind. And you know what? I’m making six figures doing it. Can you believe that? From where I was to this? Wild.
But it’s not just about the money. It’s the life I’ve built around it. I’ve got a family now—a real family. Sarah? She’s my rock. And the kids… They’re my world. Coming home to their laughter, their hugs… that’s the kind of thing you don’t even let yourself hope for when you’re locked away. Now it’s my reality every single day.
And the brotherhood, man, that’s everything. The biker community—my crew—we’re tighter than ever. We ride every weekend, hitting those winding back roads and feeling the wind in our faces. During the season, we’re at every event—shows, charity rides, meetups. It’s not just about the bikes; it’s about the connection, the freedom, the purpose. It keeps me grounded.
And I’m not just coasting, either, I’ve been investing in myself. I take online courses—everything from business management to metalwork—to keep my skills sharp and grow the shop. I hit the gym four times a week, too. Gotta stay strong, for the rides, for the work, for my family. And when I’m not working or with the kids, I’m wrenching on my bike, adding upgrades, tweaking the performance. That machine feels like an extension of me.
It’s not perfect, but damn, it’s mine. And every time I fire up that engine, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come. I’m free, man. Not just out of prison, but free in my soul. This is the life I always dreamed of, and I’ll never take a second of it for granted.”
We’re gonna be real – Belinda teared up a little as she wrote that example for you, because well that’s why we do what we do – to get you to feel that way about whatever life you dream of, and help you to live it – We know one day you’ll write us a letter like this for real and we can’t wait.
Recognizing triggers and how to avoid them
If we’re honest this is the tricky part because honestly while keeping busy helps as well as knowing what and why you’re doing something, but those pesky triggers are always going to sneak up and feel like someone hitting you over the head with a baseball bat. We could give you strategies like keeping a joy diary, but how useful and practical is that? What makes Biker Rebuild CIC is that we do care, we want you not to just survive but to be soul-happy, living a life that makes you happier than you ever thought you could be – whatever that looks like. Instead, we’re giving you pieces of advice that Belinda thinks will help you.
When that trigger arrives whether that’s wondering if you survive this, complete overload of the world you’re now forced to navigate, maybe it’s the silence, maybe it’s the hunger. Unless it’s necessary like you’d be at harm if you didn’t don’t react right away, sit with it. We often like to use the: Will it matter 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years from now?
The truth is things often feel worse in the moment than they are in reality, and sometimes if you can just leave it a few hours your perspective shifts. Try to note your trigger A good idea is to note what happened just before, during, and just after just make a note for now so you can analyze it later.
If you have to react do the minimum and then give yourself a break, somethings in life require immediate responses they just do, don’t aim to solve the whole problem while triggering aim to do just enough to ease the pressure because, in a few days, you likely find a better solution.
When you’re ready be sure to brainstorm with someone whether a family member, a helpline, or a friend someone you trust, but remember pieces of advice from one person is merely an opinion and you’re under no obligation to follow it regardless of how qualified they might be.
The right solution for you can be recognized by the way it makes you feel, if it’s right for you it’ll light you up and give you energy not take it away. Finally remember this piece of advice from Tony Robbins “Never leave the scene of a decision, without scheduling an action,”
Adapting to freedom after incarceration can feel like stepping into an entirely new world, even if you’re returning to familiar places. The routines, structures, and limitations of prison life are replaced by a fast-paced and often unpredictable environment, which can be both liberating and overwhelming. Embracing this new chapter starts with understanding that the road to reintegration is a process, not an instant transformation. It requires patience with yourself and the willingness to rebuild, step by step. A positive mindset is key—it’s about focusing not on the weight of past mistakes, but on the opportunities ahead. By viewing this phase as a chance to redefine your purpose and pursue meaningful goals, you can begin to shift your perspective from one of limitation to one of potential.
However, freedom comes with its own set of challenges, and recognizing potential triggers is crucial to staying on track. Triggers can come in many forms, from old environments and associations to feelings of frustration, isolation, or rejection. Being aware of what might provoke unhealthy reactions is the first step to avoiding them. Create a routine that reinforces positive habits and minimizes idle time, which can invite chaos. Surround yourself with supportive people—whether family, friends, or mentors—who genuinely want to see you succeed. Most importantly, equip yourself with coping strategies, such as mindfulness, seeking professional guidance, or engaging in activities that align with your goals. By staying vigilant and proactive, you can navigate the challenges of freedom while remaining focused on your journey of growth and purpose.
Importance of a Support System:
You’re a human being and the truth is we were designed to connect, humans were never meant to go it alone it was written into our DNA. Rebuilding your life starts with the strength of connection, and one of the most crucial steps is identifying and reconnecting with the people who matter most—family, friends, and the biker community. These relationships provide not just emotional support but also a sense of belonging and purpose. For many, the biker brotherhood offers a unique opportunity to find mentorship from others who have faced similar challenges and come out stronger.
These seasoned riders know the struggles you’re facing and can guide you with advice, encouragement, and accountability. Beyond personal relationships, local support groups and organizations tailored to ex-offenders are invaluable. They offer resources for employment, housing, and mental health while connecting you with others walking the same path. By building a solid support network that combines personal, community, and professional resources, you can anchor yourself in a community that believes in your potential to succeed.
Just as a side note I’m gonna keep it real – we don’t all have the option to connect with family, and friends, or even clubs and groups. Not everyone is gonna see past the stigma or sense of separation that has occurred while you were inside. And sometimes even those you tell might not believe what you say, Belinda often tells the story of how when her ex told her he was an ex-offender she responded,
“Yeah right,” and laughed. She thought he was just trying to seem tough, but later realized it was true.
We can’t control other people and their reactions and often the connection is something that seems elusive but we can try, it’s best to be your true self, the people that are for you will find you. Online groups are great for connection because you only have to reveal as much as you feel comfortable with. A great thing that creatives do is to use an avatar for their profile image as it feels less invasive and remember Biker Rebuild CIC will always be there to support you any way we can.
Setting Goals for the First 30 Days:
This is how you recommend you set your goals:
- Set three short-term goals in housing, finances, and Personal make them realistically achievable within 30 days.
- Next, take each goal and break it down into mini-tasks, the tasks should be achievable in under 30 minutes. List out the tasks for each goal.
- Assess the tasks for impact – are they going to make a big impact in the short term, a small impact in the short term, a big impact in the long term, a small impact in the long term but are essential to be done daily. Then prioritize your task lists moving the big impact short term, and small impact long term but essential to the top of the list.
- Next schedule one task from each of your goals every day, and read the task list for each day before you sleep each night.
This method helps to keep goals and tasks manageable, impactful, and encouraging, and you’ll wake up each day primed to complete your goals. The only way to change you’re life is to change the patterns you need to be doing something different.